Sunday, May 23, 2010

Need help deciding to invite co-workers?

I've asked similar questions before, but there have been new developements. I'll fill you in:Long story (sort of) short: I was having a hard time deciding whether to invite ALL co-workers (didn't want anyone to feel left out) or none. I decided none.THEN the other day at work some people were joking about saying things at the wedding (like your mom jokes, which I'm famous for at work) and I know they were joking about saying stuff, but I wasn't sure if they thought they were really coming to the wedding or not. So I mentioned to them that I decided not to invite any coworkers. So then someone said they were going to be offended and take it personally if they werent invited, and then a couple others said they were going to come whether they were invited or not! So now I don't know what to do, because I don't want them to show up anyway and my guests not have enough food. So should I just invite them or not? I dont want all the drama, but it will be expensive if I invite them all. Help!
Need help deciding to invite co-workers?
No. I would NOT invite them. I'm sure they were kidding. And, if someone is offended that they were not invited, too bad. I think it's best to keep it smaller. Simply tell them that you are having a small wedding ...... family and friends.





I doubt if anyone will "crash" the wedding. I'm sure they were just pulling your leg. I would hope that they have better etiquette than that! Good luck!
Reply:Unfortunately when some people think of weddings, they think of freebies. The coworkers you aren't very close to are putting on a guilt trip because they want nice meal. If you aren't inviting any coworkers then no one can truly be offended because you aren't playing favorites among them.





Right now, they are taking advantage of you in your stressed state of mind. You cannot please everyone. It's likely that someone will get genuinely offended but you have every right to invite only those persons who are close to you, have played an important part in your life or have been positive influences. You are under no obligation to invite someone just because they'd like to come. Sure, weddings are nice to go to but it's generally a private and very personal affair. You are not at all being malicious by not inviting them. It's perfectly reasonable and understandable.





At your guest check-in table, those who are manning that station can check to see if their name is on the list -- if it isn't, give instructions to turn them away. (I highly doubt they would show up anyway).
Reply:I wouldn't say anything to them about the wedding...period. Don't bring it up at work, don't plan it at work, keep the wedding materials someplace other than at work. Don't invite them, because that's what you've decided. Hopefully, as the wedding gets closer, they'll have forgotten about it. If someone is really rude enough to ask why they weren't invited, you can respond with "We decided to keep the wedding small and intimate, and have only invited immediate family and close friends."
Reply:I would only invite the ones I am closest to. No one else. Why be out the expense for others if you don't have it? They will get over it in time. If they ask why you didn't invite them simply say you had budget issues. If they don't like to bad.
Reply:Don't invite them, This is your day, NOT theirs. They will feel stupid if they crash the wedding and there is not a nametag with a table number on it waiting for them at the door. This is a time where you should NOT be stressed out. Only invite people that you actually want to spend time with at your wedding.
Reply:"Seeing people every day" does not make them a part of your social circle. It was rather awkward of you to make an announcement of negative invitation, but I doubt that your co-workers would go so far as to crash your party. I've read here of FAMILY members who consider themselves "entitled" to attend any relative's wedding, invited or not, but don't recall any tales of co-workers have such an overwhelming sense of entitlement. It might be gracious if, on your last day of work, you brought in a white "wedding" cake for your coworkers to share and told them you're so sorry you can't afford a bigger wedding -- that it was very hard to NOT invite so many people you're fond of.
Reply:Just invite the ones you are realy close to... and if you feel like. Remember is your wedding so you can invite the ones you want. Dont worry about this.
Reply:Do NOT feel compelled to invite your coworkers to an intimate event that should be celebrated with the SPECIAL people in your life. Politely explain that you are on a tight budget and simply cannot afford a large wedding. Think about it: if they don't get it, how tacky is that? Do you seriously want them there now? If they want to participate they can throw you a shower at work or something. Otherwise don't sweat it because you have more important things to worry about. They'll get over it. And if you are really worried about them crashing the party, have someone at the door to your reception with a guest list to make sure that the folks walking through are on the list and have "ushers" show them to their tables. Recruit your teenage cousins or something for this job.
Reply:Your coworkers, joking or not, are out of line.





Handle it with class, but give them a definite answer so there is no confusion whatsoever. Write a memo or a letter and give the same copy to ALL coworkers.





"Hey guys, my fiance ______ and I just wanted to thank all of you for your kind wishes, but regret to inform you that we simply cannot accommodate guests from work due to our limited budget. Thank you for understanding".





Not only is honesty the best policy, but dang girl, this is way too much drama for your big day! Don't worry about being rude or anything, your coworkers who are threatening to come whether or not they're invited are rude to even suggest such a thing!





Good luck, I hope you have a wonderful wedding :)
Reply:Personally I wouldnt want to invite anybody who said they would come even if they were not invited. I would not invite them (thats just extra money they you have to spend and its your day so it should be about what makes YOU happy) I would leave the matter alone and hopefully your coworkers will calm down. But if they bring it up again just calmly explain to them that due to your wedding budget there is just no room for extra people outside of family and close friends. Actually you dont owe them an explanation anyway.
Reply:they were heckling you. I hate when folks do that. It really upsets me. i doubt they will crash your wedding. they know they have to work with you too
Reply:They're just teasing you - I doubt they'll actually show up! I don't think you have anything to worry about. It's totally fine to not invite colleagues. My manager got married a few months ago and nobody from work was invited. I like my colleagues at work, but do I really want to hang out with them outside of work? Not really!





So don't worry about this at all. They won't be offended if you don't invite them.
Reply:sorry girl but this is an issue of your own making. you can't expect to sit there and blabber about every detail of your wedding to your co-workers and then think they're NOT going to expect to be invited. if you didn't want them to be included, then you shouldn't have been talking all about your wedding to them. think about it......how would you feel if you had a friend who filled your ear for months about all the glorious details of her b'day party and then you weren't even invited? wouldn't you think that was rude? well, it is. you don't talk about a party to people you aren't willing to invite!
Reply:They were trying to give you a hard time because it is obvious that you are overly sensitive about it and worried about upsetting someone. Co-workers don't expect to be invited to the wedding.
Reply:These people sound like jerks who take their not being invited too seriously. No one should expect to be invited ever. You never know, they may have been joking about turning up. I know this is hard because you have to work with them and understand about not being able to afford to pay for them on top of all family and real friends. Maybe just say they are invited to the ceremony if they wish to see you get married but just say, sorry, it is nothing personal, it's just we can't afford to pay for any more plus there is no more room for people at the reception. They should understand and if they don't then that's their problem. If they turn up at the reception, for the sake of keeping the peace at work, let them have one drink to congratulate you then tell them politely that they need to leave. I know it's not ideal but it is a way for them to sort of go without you having to fork out. Remember you don't want to be too blunt because they can make your time at work very difficult and you wouldn't want to end up having to change jobs. Good luck!
naming

No comments:

Post a Comment

 


invite © 2008. Design by: Pocket Web Hosting