Monday, October 12, 2009

Invite my coworkers?

I've been at my current job for 4 months, and I'm getting married next September. I've begun the preliminary planning stuff, and some of the girls I work with have given me really helpful advice about the wedding. We're looking at between 125-150 people coming to the wedding so far (big families) and we're trying to keep the guest list as short as possible. What's the polite thing to do in this situation? Do I invite all 13 people I work with, plus dates? Or exclude my office all together? And, should we invite my fiance's co-workers too?
Invite my coworkers?
If you are trying to keep the numbers down, then explain that because of the large families and parents guest requests, the location of the wedding (if applicable), and the budget (if applicable), your just unable to invite everyone you would love to share the big day with. Most people will understand this. There of course will be the 1 or 2 that don't, but you can't please everyone.


As for the guests to those you want to invite- you only need to invite the dates of guests if they are married or in a long term relationship
Reply:If you want limited seating due to a budget don't invite your coworkers or your fiance's coworkers.





I've been with my work for almost three years now and I am not inviting them mainly because we want a small guest list.
Reply:I am getting married at the end of the month. Instead of inviting all of my co-workers which could get very costly my fiance and I just decided to invite our bosses/supervisors. My fellow co-workers are all married and they understand the costs involved in weddings and understand my decision.
Reply:You might want to for sure invite your boss and/or immediate supervisor. What's best to do is invite co-workers you feel closest to, you do not have to invite everyone. Really, mature people DO understand restrictions.... Same with your bf's.
Reply:I am in your boat. The reception place we want can hold a max of about 160 guests, and we have a big wedding party, so we can only invite about 135 regular guests. So, I can't possibly invite everyone in my department (That would mean about 15 people), so I am just inviting my boss and calling it a day. My boss happens to be good friends with my dad, so it doesn't look so strange. If you are having a small wedding, people will understand. And you haven't known them very long, so I wouldn't worry.
Reply:No you don't have to invite your new co-workers if you are not that close to them, maybe you can have a little reception at your office or go to lunch or something. You can just tell them that you are just having family members at the wedding because of the sizes of the families.





If you do decide to invite a couple of co-workers then you will probably have to invite them all, so as not to hurt any one's feelings, since it's a small office.





It's usually a good idea to invite your bosses though, they may not come, but they may be insulted if they are not invited.





Best of luck with your wedding!
Reply:I think the best general rule here is to post an invitation in your work's breakroom or wheverever and make sure that these people RSVP. More than likely, they are not all going to come. This way, you will know exactly how many you'll be getting from work. I do think that as a courtesy, you should do this though.
Reply:You invite your co workers, who want to go, don't go inviting the copy boy if you don't even talk to him. Just say space is limited, who wants to go...
Reply:My fiance and I are in a similar boat. We can't afford to have a lot of guests (we're paying for most of the wedding ourselves.) There are definitely people from work we want to invite (also a small office, they just hired a few more people so I think it's up to 16 now). There is no way we can invite everyone from the office and their guests.





But as our wedding is not an "office function" we're going to invite the people we want/can afford to invite and ask those people to please not talk about the wedding at the office, since not everyone can be invited.
Reply:Personally I see weddings as an event for people you truly love and care about. People who give a rat's a** that you're even getting married. 13 people you've only known for 4 months plus their dates whom you've never met and may likely never see again seems a bit silly. I hate to be a cynic, but most would probably be going for free food and alcohol.
Reply:If you have been there 4 months I would only invite the people that you actually do things with outside of work. I work in an office of 9 and have been here 2 years. I will be inviting 3 of the people and their dates. The others can get over it. If I;m not good enought for them to hang out with beforehand then what makes them think I want to hang out with them at my wedding. Everyone in the workforce are usually mature, they'll understand especially since you haven't been there that long. Same goes for the hubby, if he hasn't been there long or if he doesn't get together with the co-workers outside of work functions then they don't need to be invited.
Reply:Talk with the person at work that you talk to the most. Ask this person the same question you ask us. Also talk it over with your fiance it's his wedding too.
Reply:Since you only have 13 coworkers, it should probably be an "all or nothing" kind of thing. In an office that small, you'll probably end up with some hurt feelings if you invite only half of the staff. Only 13 other people work in my office as well, so we invited all of them (plus dates).





Inviting your fiance's coworkers depends on how close he is to them and how many people he works with.





Good luck, and congratulations!
Reply:Invite who you are most comfortable with. If you think that these co-workers are your friends, invite the ones you want to share your special day. Don't make any apologies for who you do and don't invite - it's your wedding. The ones that you are not that close with are not going to feel slighted if you don't invited, so invite who you want. It's your wedding, don't feel pressured to include or exclude anyone you don't want to.
Reply:figure out the people you want there and then if you have enough room bring your co-workers and your fiances

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