Not invite fiance's brother to wedding?

If I don't like my fiance's brother for some reasons, can I just not invite him? My fiance of course wants him to be there, but he basically will agree with everything I say. What will you do if you were me? Do you think my fiance's parents will hate me if I didn't invite the brother to my wedding?
Not invite fiance's brother to wedding?
Well, since you said you don't like him "for some reasons" it seems like you don't know why (or you can't say?). I could be wrong though, so I'm sorry if I am. But, if he hasn't done anything wrong towards anyone, I would invite him to keep the peace. Not inviting him could and probably will cause tension within the family. And I don't think you'll want to start off your new life with your husband like that. It's only one day. You won't have to be with your future brother in law the entire time at the wedding. Do it for your fiance. I'm kind of in the same situation as you with not wanting to invite someone. But instead of his brother, I don't want to invite his father. This man is very stubborn, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, hardheaded, and doesn't like me because he blames me for a fight he very well started between him and my fiance regarding a way he treated me. Even though everyone in his family told him he was in the wrong, he still thinks I am at fault. He and my fiance didn't talk for the longest time but eventually made up. His father has yet to apologize to me. I can't stand him, but since he is my fiance's father and he wants him there, I will set aside my feelings and invite him. I hope everything works out for you, whatever you decide in the end.
Reply:Why don't you like him?





Your fiance wants him there, so invite him.
Reply:Check this out.





Usually when we don't like someone it is because we see something of ourselves that we don't like in them.





It is easier to blame the other person than face ourselves.





Marriage is a tough road without petty drama. Why would you start out your new life with one foot in your mouth.





The reality is that the wedding is not only for the bride and groom but for the families of the bride and groom to get to know each other. You may have noticed at others weddings that the wedding couple dance, cut the cake and then are sent off to their honeymoon, then the party goes on. Without them. Note they leave and everyone else parties!





Marriage is part of maturity. or at least should be. If you can't handle the family maybe you should not be getting married but spend some more time growing up.





Mature action is not decided by who you like or dislike, but in how you treat people you don't like with civility and how you respect the people that you do like so that all can enjoy without drama.





Con-grads and good luck.
Reply:Of course you must. Time to get mature....
Reply:well, think about it.. do you have any siblings? and if so (or if not) imagine that your fiance doesn't like them and wouldn't want them to come to the wedding, how would that make you feel??? i could never not invite someone from my fiance's family to my wedding, even if i don't like them.. i'd try my hardest to get along with that person as best i can!!!!
Reply:Your marrying into this family and will have to put up with him at every family get together for the rest of your life.... Best just suck it up and start getting used to it!!


Unless of course his own family don't want him there then that answers itself.
Reply:ummmmm... not to be rude...but YOUR wedding??? its your fiance's wedding too. And if it's his brother, then he is more than welcome to come. But you raise a very good point. If your fiance agrees with you, then maybe he should say "not invited" but please please please don't think this is just YOUR day.....the guy is getting married too.....not just you...by the way...congratulations...and no matter what happens you will have a good time...good luck with everything and I hope you enjoy your very special day!!!





ps_ when does the bride get to decide who comes and who doesn't? I thought this was a marriage, not a dictatorship?????????? shouldn't both be inviting.....not just you??? ISSUES!!!!! damn, I sure am glad I'm not marrying you...I would hate you too...my wedding....my day.....my blah blah blah!!!!!! get over it...eat your cake and dance....go to jamaica and then hate life because you got married....
Reply:He is an important member of your fiance's family and for that reason alone, regardless of how you feel about him, he should be invited to the wedding.
Reply:Do your fiance's feelings matter at all to you? Sure, he may do things your way, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt him if you refuse to listen to his opinion on this.
Reply:1) Advice along the lines of "This is YOUR day and you should have everything YOUR way" should be ignored. Your sense of duty to your family, your groom's family, and your guests should far outweigh the temptation to wallow in self indulgence.


2) No adult member of either the bride's or groom's immediate family should be excluded UNLESS that person has a persistant history of criminally violent behavior. Mere unpleasantness isn't serious enough to rate an exclusion.


3) Every wedding should have an unofficial "enforcement squad," several physically imposing people who have agreed to "help" any guest who "becomes unwell" to "go outside for some fresh air" and otherwise prevent this person from creating further disturbance.


4) Of course they'd hate you. Even if it weren't a family member, you simply don't use your wedding guest list to, in effect, make a public announcement of who you do or don't like, get along with, approve of, etc.
Reply:As tempting as it is to have his invitation get "lost in the mail" look at it this way. You will be a busy, very popular woman on your wedding day. Everybody is going to want a piece of you and your new hubby. Congratulations, mingling, speeches, dancing, chatting to friends and relatives you haven't seen for a while and generally circulating and making sure your invited guests are having a good time. Should you choose to invite him, you need do little more than smile politely and thank him for coming in the receiving line then go and attend to your many hostess duties. Invite him then forget about it
Reply:its their brother! hell, i dont like my bf's brother either, but i sure wouldnt refuse to let him come to our wedding..its his/her wedding too u know.
Reply:Well, it *is* your day. So remember that. The way I look at weddings is screw ceremony. If your reasons are valid reasons to keep harmony at the wedding, no don't invite him. My own wedding (a year from the end of October) will not have my parents, sister, neice, or brother in law there. My family is extremely hateful to my husband (we've been together for ten years, we consider ourselves married already, this is just to make it official) and they are hateful to his side of the family. I love my in-laws with all my heart and I won't subject them to my mother's rantings, nor will I subject myself to it. My family is simply a toxic relationship, every last one of the (okay not my neice, she's too young to be corrupted yet). But for the sake of harmony at my own wedding, I cannot invite them. I always saw my father giving me away at my wedding, but he's lost that privIedge with his treatment of me and my husband, so my father in law will be taking his place. I also cannot invite my husband's birth mother either (he's adopted). She drives the family crazy (she is medically insane) and I want a fun, easy going wedding. I am *not* putting out fires or being stressed out over silly things like family fights. I just won't invite those who will start them. We don't consider my family contributing members of our family, so why bother. We don't consider my husband's birth mother his mother at all - why let her come so she can moan abut how his adopted mother stole him from her and shove her way into places she shouldn't be claiming to be the "groom's mother".





Sorry but that's my belief on weddings. People create more stress for themselves than they need to by trying to appease everyone - screw them! This is YOUR day! And you only get one (supposedly in this day and age you get five, but I plan on only one). Center the day around you and your husband, not appeasing your guests (but do appease them with some food they will be hungry and they'll turn on you in a heartbeat without being fed!). They'll either be happy or not, but it's important that you be happy. If you don't invite him and the family wants to know why, just play dumb and say "We sent him an invitation, did he not get it?" but try to wait until your reception for this conversation :P (otherwise he'll come to the wedding or you'll just have to tell them the truth - or tell them the truth in the first place and if they don't like it tell them tough luck it's your wedding and you shouldn't have to deal with his sh*t).





If you really, really want to go ahead and invite him, but give ground rules. Meet with him to hand him the invitation yourself. Have your husband with you. Hold the invitation out but don't let him take it. Be firm and explain "This comes with conditions. You're only allowed to have it and come if you abide by these rules. Break them, and you'll get thrown out, got it?" and if he breaks him - throw the moron out!





But decide between you and your husband what is best. And don't forget this is a special day for you and your husband, try to make it as stress free and enjoyable as possible. Hope that helps :). And enjoy your wedding!
Reply:Invite him.....it is one day, you don't have to hang around him, his family will be pissed if you don't, not a good way to start out the marriage. Besides, you will hardly know he is there with all the fun you will be having!!
Reply:Even if you don't like your fiance's brother, you should still invite him. He's (going to be) your family, so you'll have to deal with him sooner or later. Do you really want to be seen as the bad guy? The brother can hold this over your head for the rest of your life!





Just invite him. If you think he is going to make a scene or get really drunk, then ask your fiance to talk to him before the wedding and tell him that is not going to be tolerated on the wedding day.
Reply:Invite the brother unless you want to cause problems.
Reply:That is not the way to start off a marriage. His brother should be there and be one of the groomsmen. You are joining his family whether you like it or not.
Reply:SADLY WHEN YOU MARRY SOME ONE THERE FAMILY BECOMES A BIG PART OF YOUR LIFE. YOU NEED TO INCLUDE THIS PERSON, IF NOT FOR YOU CONSIDER HOW THIS WILL AFFECT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. AND HOW HIS FAMILY VIEW YOU. MUCH LESS HIS FEELINGS, HE MAY GO ALONG WITH IT NOW AND RESENT IT LATER!! [BECAREFULL] AND GOOD LUCK!
Reply:This is a really bad question. Come on, unless you dislike your fiance's brother because he murdered your family, yes you invite him to the wedding. You said yourself that your faince' wants him there, for you to be petty and not invite him would be a big indicator to your fiance' that you are a selfish jerk. And yes your fiance's parents would be hurt and insulted by this, and rightfully so. Grown up.
Reply:Sorry but you have to invite your fiance's brother - he is very close family, a brother! You can't not invite him. You will just have to put up with it, it's only for one day then you don't have to see him regularly if you don't want. Do you really want to cause huge problems and get on your fiance's and in-law's wrong side? Yes, they will all hate you. I wouldn't marry anyone who said my immediate family such as siblings, could not come. Just put up with it.
Reply:Heck yeah your inlaws will hate you, just reading your question I can't stand you. Who do you think you are, the queen of Sheba? Too bad if you don't like your fiance's brother, that's still his brother, and in the end blood is thicker than water. Quit being a bridzilla!!!
Reply:Well my one of my boyfriends brothers won't be invited to ours. (Due to obscene tattoo on his neck and he's an overall redneck) He is from a family of like 20 kids so no one would notice. However if it was one of my two brothers I know my family would care. Believe me I understand, but maybe sticking him at a crappy corner table at the reception or ignoring him may be a better option. These people are going to be your family. You don't want to start your new life with drama. Good Luck with your future brother-in-law.
Reply:It depends why you don't want him there. If it is because he is going to do something during the wedding or reception to ruin the occasion, then I wouldn't invite him.
Reply:To not have family tension invite the brother, only if you think he will ruin it for you and her. Then she can step in. If he is a drunk, or a drug addict, I wouldn't invite him. It's your DAY!! If he is just annoying that is one thing, but if he has a reputation for destroying events and occasions then NEXT!!