Would you make something for a potluck that you were not invited to?

My husband's work is having a Christmas potluck on December 13th, which is a Saturday (not one of their regular work days). He told me last night that the lady in charge of organizing the whole thing has been apparently asking everyone to have their wives make something for them to bring. (He works with all guys, except for the 2 ladies in the office). Family is not invited, just employees.





I personally find it kind of rude to ask when we're not even invited. Would YOU do it?
Would you make something for a potluck that you were not invited to?
Oh HEEELLLLL no....only the employees are invited and not the wiVES?????? What...is there going to be a 'Thanksgiving Stripper' jumping out of the cooter of the Turkey or something???





tell him to pick up something from KFC or Boston Market. The nerve....





edit: I meant...."is there going to be a "triple XXX-mas STripper" jumping out of a gift box or something???
Reply:The lady in charge of organizing the whole thing is deficient in social skills (wanting employees to come back in on a non-normal working day, and a Saturday in December at that), but yeah, hey, I'd do it. But first I'd try to get my husband to try out his own cooking skills. Help him make some dish that he could carry in with pride and announce: "This is a dish that I made."





Unless you husband can just stay away all together. "Hey, I can't come to the potluck, my great-aunt Josephine has the lead role in The Nutcracker, and she'll cut me out of her will if the whole family isn't there to see her perform."
Reply:Well, that depends. If my husband was a horrible cook, then yes, I probably would make something for him to bring. Good news for me is that my husband is a fabulous cook, so he'd enjoy bringing something he made on his own.





I think that in this situation, the bigger problem isn't that you weren't invited. It's that the organizer thinks only women can cook. Shame on her!





If your husband is capable of making and bringing something on his own, I'd let him do it.
Reply:I think it is really rude considering that as a woman, she knows who will be doing the cooking the wives. Why doesn't she want them to go? It would be different if the office was paying for the food but considering everyone is throwing in you should have been invited. I would just tell my husband to go buy something already made at the store.
Reply:Maybe the lady just assumed all the guys can't cook so she said the wives could make something. I wouldn't take it personally like she was making YOU do it. If your husband is going, then he can make something.





So it's an office party outside of work, but the spouses aren't even invited? My husband probably wouldn't even go. I would tell my husband to make something!






Reply:Reading between the lines, maybe the two ladies are clueless at making things themselves. Personally i would make something nice,your husband could be the only one to turn up empty handed.also a little polite note saying that a better evening it would have been if the wives/girlfriends had been invited. make them feel small. okey dokey.
Reply:Send a bag of chips and buy a jar of onion dip and dump it into a container and have your husband tell them you made it.





What a grinch that woman is.. On Saturday, no family and bring food? If I were your husband I'd develop a fake upset stomach and apoligize for not coming in because he's spending the day on the toilet instead.
Reply:If you are not invited, I wouldn't make ANYTHING...except a note saying that the wives should have been invited! :) I agree, It is very rude to have people (wives) that are not even going to be going to it to make something that they won't even be able to enjoy. Don't make anything.
Reply:I'm sure it wasn't meant to be offensive, and yes, I would. She probably asked because most guys can't cook, so she said that instead of saying, bring something to eat. If you still think it's rude, you can buy something for him to bring instead. It would be even ruder to show up empty handed.
Reply:It is very rude, but I personally would make something and send it, for the husbands sake! Make a cheap dish such as greenbean casserole or mac and cheese or a simple dessert such as cheesecake! If you do make a dish keep it cheap and simple, the company really should be the one providing the full meal though!!
Reply:no ^_^.


yes it is rude, especially if you're not even invited. well, i would find it rude. tell your husband you aren't making anything. if he begs you to do it, accept and do something to whatever it is you're making. don't make it a dessert though, you know how mostly everyone these days are watching their weight XD (yeah right %26lt;_%26lt;).


that, or you can just show up anyways with the dish and not leave.
Reply:Umm your husband is invited so its not rude. I doubt she is telling them to have thier wives make something. She is asking him to bring something not you. If he is not going then no I wouldnt make something if he is... he can make it. Or you can! But no its not rude.
Reply:That is very rude of her to ask.


However, it would be kind of rude not to send anything too, two wrongs do not make a right.


I would send something extreme easy and cheap to make, like salad or rolls. Or I would pick up a cheap box of cookies at a nearby store.
Reply: so you, as the wife, are expected to make something, but then you cant go to the party? wtf is that crap. like, seriously. if your invited, then yeah, go for it, make something. but to make something, and then not even get to partake of the party it is for is just stupid. dont make anything.
Reply:yes my husband job has things like that at his job to. if he goes he can take something simple. something is better then nothing. don't feel bad it is for employees only thats so you dont have to spend a lot of money on making the food
Reply:Yes that's pretty rude to me. They should cater in a lunch if they aren't allowing the employees to bring family.
Reply:Yeah, its just another way to show your husband you care for him. Also later down the road, he will owe you one.
Reply:No way! That was very rude of them to suggest that the WIVES cook for a dinner they can't eat. I suggest your husband learn to cook something or find his way to the grocery and buy a cheeseball on the way. :)
Reply:Um no what are his hands broken? Make him make something if he wants to take something. You just stay at home and drink a glass of wine order so delivery and not worry about dinner for a night.
Reply:I would make chocolate chip cookies and put laxatives in it.
Reply:Yes even though I don't agree with them not inviting family. Seems kinda sexist thing, his boss assuming men can't cook.
Reply:yes ive done it or you can just buy something....
Reply:Hell no. He had better make a fried chicken run on his way there.





ETA: OMG... LMAO, great idea tootsie!!!!!!
Reply:umm...what kind of office event doesnt allow the spouses to go. That is really weird. But yes I would make something really fast and simple. i wouldnt put the extra effort in.
Reply:Yes - I would do it because I loved my husband and want him to be happy and comfortable - NOT to bend to the stupid woman's will. It's all in how you look at it.
Reply:i agree with the fried chicken answer


or take nothing


or dont bother going
Reply:Yes, I would do it. I'm sure there are times when your husband will do things for you, even if it doesn't directly involve him. Sometimes things like this come up....
Reply:Yes, it is rude, and sexist to ask the wives to make something. Is she asking the 2 ladies husbands to make something? I doubt it. However, this is not your husband's fault. Find out how he feels about it. If you want to make something for him to take, make it for him, not for the inconsiderate lady planning the thing. A part of him will probably feel embarrassed if you outright refuse to make anything for him.





A better way to send a message might be for your husband to make something, (preferably delicious) and then find lots of opportunities to mention the fact that HE made it. He could also slip in the fact that his wife is a very busy woman, and since he is such a good cook anyway, it made more sense for him to make it himself. He could even ask for recipes on other things at the potluck, which would tell him how many other people actually made their own dishes. He could periodically stop and send you a text message (or pretend to) saying how much he misses you, discussing your plans for later in the evening, etc.. This might get the point across that family should have been invited.


If your husband really can't cook at all, you could make something yummy, but tell your husband to say he made it. They don't need to know if he really can't cook. It would still get the point across.





Think of the fun you two could have planning this conspiracy!





I personally would be offended if such an *invitation* were to happen to me. But don't let yourself defend your rights to the point that your husband doesn't feel supported. A subtly sent message will probably be heard better than an outright refusal anyway.
Reply:That is quite rude! How can the lady ask you to bring something and say oh by the way, you can't come. Don't feel obligated to make something if you don't want to!